Observation 3

Overall, I added more details of each specific thing that contributed to the commercial's use of visual rhetorical devices. I went more into the rhetorical strategies that weren't as obvious and blunt. I read more closely into the small details and elaborated on those. I also re-worked my thesis to make it more specifiic. My previous thesis was very general. In my first draft, I did not use a lot of the rhetorical terms. I made sure to include those in my revisions. My conclusion needed some hard work, too. I tried to tie everything back together in the end to bring the essay full circle. I learned a lot by revising my paper. First, I learned a lot about how to elaborate on specific examples. I also learned how to write this kind of paper. I know I have a lot of revisions still left to do because my paper is far from perfect, but I think I am improving.